A friend confided that every member of the senior class of her teen's highly-rated private high school had been arrested at least once...What are you experiencing as a parent of a teen? Visit us on Facebook. Click here Facebook.
Paranoid Parents Guide is about knowing the statistics on what are real dangers for your child, not the perception. Not wearing helmets or seatbelts are far more dangerous than kidnapping which is less likely than your child being struck by lightning. But with sensational media stories haunt us, one child hurt is too many but we ignore the one child a minute being injured from not wearing a seatbelt....So Paranoid Parents Guide is about solving the dangers that we can and learning to control our fears of dangers that are beyond our control.
HELICOPTER PARENTS, YOU ARE THE "NEW PARENTS" OF TEENS. HOW IS THAT WORKING FOR YOU?
What is the parent's job? To protect, teach, love, nuture, guide, keep safe, make happy, make things better, provide a happy, healthy, loving childhood...we want the best for our children.
It is so sad to think that while we were always there to give them a hug or an ice cream to make it better when they were sad when maybe we should have let them be sad and learn how to cope.
All those great motives have often ended up with entitled, unresillient, emeshed teens who still thinks ultimately that mommy is an extension of themselves there to provide, fragile, easily defeated as they have been spared defeat. And there is a big side of teen traumas that had nothing to do with parenting styles.
The first generation of Helicopter Parented kids are now reaching their teen years. And we thought jockeying for a view of our toddler in the paddling pool with all the other attentive parents was tough. The hours of constant vigillance, watching like good parents from a reasonable distance to let the child learn, but constant baby and toddler care was taxing.
But now many parents are contacting me about the right teen car tracker that will tell how many kids are in the car, that disables texting when driving, that disables the radio, that won't move without a fastened seatbelt for the rider and driver...etc I know parents who have four trackers on their teens--the iPhone, the iWatch with heart beat function, one in the car, one on a necklace.
Probably you are finding parenting teens to be a lot harder than you thought it would be.
SO WHAT IS GOING ON WITH OUR TEENS
This is the new journey we will now be taking. What are the real dangers? And what are the new theories and solutions to what is going on with our teens, solutions beyond the best tracker or 'have dinner every night with your teen' or take away the car keys or the internet if they do something you don't like.
Maybe you have a great high school and sensible kids (they are technically probably the low sensation seakers, lucky you.)
Or is your high school one of those where every single member of the senior class has been arrested: drugs, alcohol (the police read twitter to find the party) wreckless driving, talking back to a teacher that becomes disorderly conduct, or worse...
High school courses get hard and the straight A student is challenged resulting in worsening depression.
Teens may find it hard to be accountable and parents find it hard not to keep rescuing their kids.
So here at Paranoid Parents Guide, we are going to shift to dealing with the teen years. The book Paranoid Parents Guide is a good base for the under 12s and we are always here to answer those problems. But because parents are being thrown into some dark territory when their teens may be behaving normally for a teen (MRIs are documenting real brain changes parents need to be aware of, etc.) We will be looking at 'troubled teens' as well as child dangers.
DECEMBER'S MUST READ
PARENTING THE GUARDIAN CLASS
BY JONATHAN I. CLOUD
This is a fascinating alternate view of how our society is stifling our teens who just want to improve society and find themselves as adults.
Challenge yourself with this book. Helicopter parents, this may hurt but it does help us understand why we parent the way we do.
If you are a parent with a real problem teen, GET HELP. The troubled teen is still your lovely child but may be going through any number of traumas or problems. Get help. Teen trouble can escalate fast. Don't think that you can handle it alone. Don't think other parents from your old mother baby group are not going through something---they just don't want to admit it to themselves or you.
Find an educational consultant who can help you, call the police if you are in danger, call a therapist or a lawyer if necessary, or email me for some direction where to get expert advice in your situation firstname.lastname@example.org
For some parents, a daughter wanting to have friends outside her religion can be as horrific as a parent who finds out their teen is doing drugs.